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Archive For 'February, 2014'

Ladies 1s through to Quarters in BUCS Cup Run

20 February 2014 at 09:55

To the tune of


First round BUCS Cup, We were playing Leeds, There were lots of cards, Yeah, they were all yellow.

Rhian came along, She took the girl right out, Unfortunately there was no doubt, And it had to be yellow.

So then I took my turn, Might have been rude to the umpire (!?!?!), And it was all yellow.

McKee-eee-eeee, Oh yeah Mckee she scored, It re-alllly was Something beautiful, You know, You know we love you so, You know we love you so.

Their goalie went off, Because they wanted to get through, Oh what a thing to do. But then they also got a yellow,

Emma was on the sideline, She did a bad tackle, Oh what a thing to do, Obviously it was yellow.

From a short, Oh yeah we scored from a short, Prestoooooonnn Something beautiful, And you know, If we didn’t win now we would cry, If we didn’t win now we would cry.

Get through, We really had to get through, We really want to get through, We really must get, We really had to get through, We really want to get through, We really must get through.

Look at the score, Look how we won the game, against Loughborough we’ll do the same

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Cardiff and Met beat 1s to 3 points

15 February 2014 at 18:52

The fixture against Cardiff and Met A came, for the 1st team, off the back of a long run of games. The run stretched all the way back to the start of the season, and included wins, draws, and losses. In fact, during that run the 1st team had actually already played this opposition. I guess that’s the nature of leagues which are based around playing all other teams at home and away. I digress, but there is a reason I mentioned the initial fixture in Wales – I have no recollection of the return fixture in Bristol.

In Wales at the start of the season we played against a rather strong Cardiff team, with the lack of a National League fixture allowing them to field a number of players with European experience. Unfortunately we had been unable to convert enough chances in the first half and struggled to deal with their class. This is, in essence, what happened in the return fixture.

The following describes what should have happened in this game.

The boys arrived at Fortress Dingle precisely an hour before the start of battle. They knew this was a big day, and insightful words from Captain Welsh were ruined only by Elston adding “just one more thing”. Ian brought his plans to the table, outlining which players were to be slain, which flanks were to be utilised, and when to penetrate the middle of the foe. This was not just another hockey match, this was a completely fictional one, made up letter by letter by your correspondent.

The boys popped to the john, where bizarrely Batstone failed to deliver, before moving down to the mighty turf for the impending fight. “Ridiculous Hair Cut” Poole sent the opening salvo with a quick left-right combo aerial toward the Cardiff and Met left half. Hussler-J put some serious pressure on the left back, using a Poole-esq “axe-attack” to secure himself a very quick yellow card. Fortunately Tarn had woken up on the Tarn side of the bed, and what happened next was pure tarn-ishness.

Tarn, on three occasions, picked the ball up in our d and ran the full length of the pitch, in a Mitchell-esq manner, but unlike Mitchell he then dispatched the ball with aplomb into the top corner.

10 mins: Bristol 3 – 0 Cardiff and Met (Hussler J had a full 10 minute sin bin)

Ian thought it best to try and avoid Hussler J getting an early red, and referred him to the showers for a bit of down time. Luckily he was replaced by Batstone – yes him of EHL fame (no, nothing to do with playing EHL, he just apparently loves hockey. Elston, if you are reading this, Batstone wanted an invited to East Grinstead). Immediately Batstone was in the thick of the action, making a fabulous shave tackle before slapping the ball inches wide. How unfortunate.

20 mins Bristol 3 – 0 Cardiff and Met

The rest of this story belongs to the skipper (sorry everyone else – except for Britt. I’m not sorry to Britt. Oh and Jack Thorpe who made a really good save on the line from a short corner. I can’t remember if it was with his head or his stick, but he is getting pretty damn good at it! And George Cairns – who’s vocabulary has been getting so bad lately that Batstone wonders if everything is OK for him.)

Alun Welsh (captain) is a traitor.

Even though I have made this all up, there were no more goals. Not a slight come back from Cardiff and Met. No last minute winner from your correspondent, or a wonder solo goal from Hussler. No own goal from Melon, and no awful aerial from Adam. Sorry.

End of Story.

Back to the real world.

The final score was 3-1 to Cardiff and Met, with Tarn scoring the solitary goal for the boys in Marooon. I thought I had played quite well, but apparently that has no impact on who gets DoD, and in turn has to write match reports.  I can only apologise for the poor nature of this report – I put all of my effort into writing a cracking Mixed report (the next day I missed a really really easy open goal when I should have scored my hattrick).


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1s v Clevedon Beach round 2

14 February 2014 at 11:30

To the tune of:

Young girl, there's no need to feel down. I said, young girl, pick yourself off the hockey ground. I said, young girl, 'cause you missed don’t you frown There's no need to be unhappy.

Young girl, at Coombe Dingle you play. I said, young girl, even when the sky is grey. You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find Many ways to have a good time.

It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey. It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey.

They have everything for you girls to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boizzzzzz ...

It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey. It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey.

Raquel scored a goal, and then missed many more, And that is why she swo-o-re ...

Young girl, are you listening to me? I said, young girl, Lowri scored I agree I said, young girl, Ali scored to make 3 We can score 3 more, can’t we?

No man we were bad from then on I said, young man, our motivation was gone The rail was not fun, with no glimpse of the sun And the hail definitely stung

It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey. It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey.

They have everything for you girls to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boizzzzzz ...

It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey. It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey.

The granny wore tracksuit, she was really cute, but could still give the ball a good boot ...

Young girl, once you put on your shoes. With your strip on, there’s no need for the blues. on the pitch, you can’t but feel alive. And due to all the practice you can definitely dive

And when, someone passes to you, You run to space, because you know what to do There's a place there called, Coobe Dingle When there’s boiz, you can mingle

It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey. It's fun to play at ho-o-ok-ey.

They have everything for you girls to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boizzzz ...

Ho-o-ok-ey ... there’s nothing better than Ho-o-ok-ey.

Athlete, athlete, motiv8 shouldn’t get you down. Athlete, athlete, get yourself off the ground.

Ho-o-ok-ey ... you'll find it at the Bar 48.

Young girl, young girl, get your head in the game. Young girl, young girl, on social there’s no shame.

Ho-o-ok-ey ... just go to play ho-o-ok-ey

Young girl, young girl, are you listening to me Young girl, young girl, hockey’s something you need

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Massive win for the Ladies 1s against Exeter

05 February 2014 at 13:02

No one could have predicted that it was going to be "the best game of hockey ever played by a bristol university team, including both boys and girls" #iancordwell-stop it you. Or for that fact, that we would thrash the top of our league, Exeter, 2-0. Every member of the team was excited and up for it... Even since the Monday training session before. I could see it in Rachel's eyes. She'd made her squash differently that day. And my god did it pay off.

The game began and unlike usual we were actually quite decent in the first few minutes and had all the possession-getting up in Exeters grill. Least to say they weren't liking that, and moreover a dodgy umpire call sent them into riots. I'm pretty sure I saw their captain in floods of tears, banging her stick on the floor shouting that it wasn't fair. But once that spectacle was all over we lined up for our short corner and our MOM Lowrie smashed one in (cue loud sobbing from their captain.) For the rest of the half we dominated play but couldn't quite get another ball in the back of the net. Not naming names but I'm pretty sure Lucy Preston missed 1 if not 5 chances but who's counting? Anyone and everyone was watching.

As the 2nd half started we were ready to get another goal to put us properly ahead as we were all a little concerned with the mere 1 goal difference. This is where Emma Bevan (DOD-for very good reason) played a cruel joke on us. Imagine getting past the goalie and having an open goal in front of you. What would you do? What would I do? I mean... Probably put it in the goal right?! Yehhhh... But bev thought she'd do a funny and miss. Exeter found it funny, Bristol...unsure.

Poor innocent Iola went to stop an arial-I think it was aiming at Tom and she panicked. She flung her stick above her shoulders to save Tom and for that was rewarded with a yellow card. Confused and shaken up she exited the pitch and we were down to 10 players. Also worthy of note was Stephs incredible save off the line-that was a tense moment for the defence which could have changed the game. Muchas gracias pretty lady.

So a very well deserved victory for the gals! Now it's time for the cup. We are ALLLL over that. Gunna smash it. Hopefully a coach trip to our neighbours Durham...

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