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Bristol Badgers Crash out to Mixed giants Blamforth

It was a dull and grey morning after the Saturday night before when Abi Whiteman and Alice Webb were buzzing the door of 6 Myrtle Road at 9.30 in the morning. Why this early you might think? Clearly our visitors had expected to see a certain Nicky Kilburn and Mikey Pelmore up and raring to go, cup of tea and Bacon sandwich in hand, ready for another outing of the UBHC mixed squad. But no, Nicky was in bed and potentially drunk. Still.

Minutes later amidst feisty exchanges of "we're going to be late", "don't you know I'm a rally driver" and "yeah she's a rally driver" the party suddenly found themselves at the student union where a sea of athletes robed in maroon and white (and pink if washed too hot)  onesies awaited them.

With Fresher Coach "I've done something to my knee" Pelmore out of action due to a slip, trip and a handful of amateur dramatics, Laura Herbert was called up to the side. Captain Mandi began to doubt her mathematical skills and ability to count to 11, until a text of "We're meeting Rachel McJarrow there" and her reply of "oooooooh yeeaaaah" confirmed that we did indeed have a full side for the game. Just about.

After travelling 50 miles in what felt like 10 minutes the match began... without Nicky... she still wasn't dressed, and was still potentially drunk or "hungover" as she liked to call it.

The team were playing well together, passing all around the left through William Eatherman, Ted (of chateau Rowntree fame), Rich Elston and Mandi. On the right with Webbo, Rachel McJarrow, Rich Elston and Mandi, and up front with Abi, Laura Enevoldsen, Rich and Mandi. In fact Rich and Mandi seemed to be everywhere and even when he was tired, a motivational shout from the sideline of "Go on Rich keep going mate" was all that he needed to go and get the ball once more.

Even through all this play, Blandford were first to strike lucky. A hit from the edge of the circle just squeezed past Ben (who?)'s long legs into the corner of the goal. In fact Melon played tremendously all game, saving shots left right and centre and so must be highly commended. Rich Elston was then to equalise with a well taken penalty corner drag flick which was rifeld towards the bottom corner only to be intercepted by the postladie's foot and sent sailing into the top corner.

Unfortunately it was a game of cat and mouse in terms of score line and Blandford went ahead again with a well taken deflection at the far post.

I'm taking an editorial cut into half time now (because I don't actually know at what point in the score half time came). The team listened with open ears to Mikey's advice of 'just pass it more' and Rich demonstrated how we would press through the use of some hockey balls; Mikey had forgotten his whiteboard (as per).

Sweeping back into the action of the game, the press seemed to have worked and the ball was won and passed to unmarked UBLHC captain Alice Webb who, despite nobody being around her managed to take the ball around the goalie and shoot from the widest possible angle. With pinpoint accuracy however, the ball trickled between the goalie and the post and over the line it went. 2-2.

With some end to end action and a flurry of chances for both sides and a few for Abi Whiteman it was that same girl on that same post who nudged one in for Blandford putting them ahead. Some tough moments arose and the match became higher paced and more frantic. Rich Elston then magnificently dribbled into the circle, eliminating each approaching player with ease, cluminating his run with superb 3D skill to take it past 2 defenders on the edge of the circle before sliping it to Mandi who was sitting on the near post ready for the textbook move. She slammed the ball in the goal to equalise. The score was 3-3.

It was getting quite exciting for the supporters of the UBHC (most notably Alice Webb and Rachel McJarrow's parents, and Mikey Pelmore on the sideline). You could tell from their calls of, "Come on Alice!" and "Keep going Rachel" and "I used to work in Chicago" respectively. Unfortunately with two minutes to go the final blow occurred. It was that same girl, from the same team, on the same post. Again. The score was 4-3 to Blandford and try as Bristol might, they couldn't f**k sh*te (Editor - "score again") and the final whistle blew.

EH mixed dreams were shattered that afternoon, but all was not lost as T. Rowntree, R. Elston and W. Eatherman discovered the school swimming pool and had a nice swim for active recovery. Before classic post match japes began which saw 2 people use an entire shower gel leaving W. Eatherman with nothing to cleanse himself, before that same man was sprayed with cold water whilst showering a move that angered his towel leading it to misteriously dissapear. Helping us through our blues was the provision of quiche and new potatoes for tea. Thanks to all that played.


DoD to Mikey Pelmore for falling over and doing "something but I'm not quite sure" to his knee and Man of the Match went to Mandi for excellent excellent play.

This entry was posted on 01 March 2014 at 21:12. You can leave a response here.

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